- Don’t get lost in details that aren’t important and neglect big issues. Resolve big issues first like custody and equitable distribution and then work on the smaller issues.
- Don’t get into arguments. Fighting about anything eliminates the ability to overcome differences in the things that matter in your case. If things are getting heated, walk away with a stated time and plan for resumption of the conversation when cooler heads prevail.
- Make sure you have all the data necessary to make an agreement. Exchange actual bank and retirement statements. Get appraisals on real property if one of you plans to buy out (an appraisal is usually less than $500), get pay stubs. Know what you’re agreeing to and what you’re waiving an interest in.
- Don’t make decisions just to have it over with. You’ll be living with these decisions forever. I can’t tell you how many consults I’ve had where someone regrets agreeing just to be done and now are stuck with an agreement on custody or money that is far different than what they would been able to get in court and now they want to override it — but they can’t. Once you sign and agree and it becomes a court order you need to show either a change in circumstances for things like custody, or, in some cases like a waiver of alimony, there’s no change that can be made.
- Don’t do it without consulting a lawyer. I know, I know. You don’t want to spend the money. But it’s either spend the money now or risk spending a lot more later to try to undo what you didn’t realize you were doing. You CAN hire a lawyer just to review and properly write up an agreement and address issues that aren’t dealt with or are improperly dealt with. Our office does accept clients just for the purpose of writing up settlement agreements if you want to file yourself. But don’t, please don’t, write your own agreement or accept an agreement written by a lawyer for your spouse without having it reviewed.
Call for a free consult to discuss how we can help you navigate. 856-227-7888